My First Date in 5 Months: A Trip Down Hippie Lane with Charles Manson’s Doppelgänger

So, there I was, finally mustering up the courage to venture back into the world of dating after a five-month hiatus. Little did I know, I was about to embark on a journey straight out of Woodstock, with a twist of Charles Manson sprinkled in for good measure.

As I sat across from my date, who bore an uncanny resemblance to a flower child gone rogue, I couldn’t help but wonder if I had accidentally stumbled into a time warp. With his flowing hair and beard, he looked like he had just stepped out of a ’60s documentary – or perhaps a cult meeting led by the infamous Manson himself.

Things took a turn for the bizarre when, halfway through a discussion on polyamory, he leaned in looked me straight in the eye, and said “I wouldn’t want another guy's dick in my goddess's holy vessel”.

I nearly choked on my almond milk latte. Goddesses? Holy vessel? Did he just perform a ritualistic chant to summon the spirit of free love? I couldn’t decide whether to be flattered or concerned for the safety of my nether regions.

As the date progressed, he regaled me with tales of Rainbow gatherings and his traumatic childhood. Meanwhile, I couldn’t shake the image of him leading a commune in the desert, preaching the gospel of peace, love, and questionable hygiene practices.

Despite the cosmic strangeness of it all, I couldn’t deny the entertainment value of the date.

In the end, while I may not have found my soulmate, I did gain a newfound appreciation for the wild and unpredictable nature of the dating scene.